Learning the hard way (The only way)

Back in Germany, 15 days before Ranger Graduation- I'm not there...

Strange how this school still continues to haunt me, my first attempt being in May 08. Thought I had it figured out, but I didn't. Went striaght through RAP Week and Darby, and completed Mountains with a "Go" on patrols... Only thing (a big thing) that held be back was my peer rating both times through Darby and Mountains...

At the end of each phase, the members of your squad are given multiple sheets of paper, each representing a individual in your squad. With that paper, you rate them from lowest to highest and provide comments on their initiaitve, tactical ability, teamwork, physical ability, etc. Being human beings, their a multiple factors which can possibly factor into an individuals decision to rate them lower or higher- many of them are probably legitimate- was this person an asset to the team? Other reasons can begin to stray from the true purpose of the ratings- reasons like "Was this person sociable? Was he part of my corps group of friends?"

The first time I was told I failed peers, it caught me completely by surprise. I felt as though I got along with my squad, but half of them did not get along with me apparentely. Not showing initiative was a recurring theme in my reports. After reflecting on my peers the first time around, I realized that as a follower on a few missions, I singled myself out as someone who did not want to quickly obey orders as quickly as the leader wanted me too. I also realized that I did not mold with the Corps group of people in the squad that sort of controlled the tempo of the squad. I talked about this with the other members in the squad and they concluded that our squad was "cliquey", and I happened to draw the short straw that time. There was also one guy in the squad that no one liked at all- but he was already kicked out- leaving the spot open for the next guy to be peered. In summary, I could have been more involved with the squad as a whole rather than the few people I prefered to be around and as a follower, I could have shown more initiative doing my tasks. Lesson learned?

In Mountains, I was switched to another squad- this is standard for someone who gets peered the first time around-they are allowed to move on but are given a second chance with another group of people. I did not not change my entire personality, but I volunteered more than I did before and continued to help out everyone in the squad and carried my share of the load, sometimes more. I had peers in the back of my mind toward the end of mountains, but it did not guide any of my actions, but once again, I failed peers again. This time, the comments were not specific and did not follow the ratings that I was given. One of the trends I later realized was that the officers in my squad tended to rank me lower than their enlisted counterparts- there were more officers than enlisted in my squad. I actuallly consented to have my squad come before me and explain their comments to me and the company commander... although difficult to listen too, no one offered no specific good reasons why I was ranked the lowest- they were either too scared to confront me or I just simply drew the short straw when it came to rating people who they liked more.

I could go on with this sad story, but bottom line, things I need to do next time in order to avoid this mess: 1) be more involved with the planning process- surprisingly, as a officer in my position, I did not help out much with the OPORD process- by the time we got to mountains, there was already a set group of people who worked on the OPORD in the platoon- being new to the platoon, I never put myself in that position to help out, mainly they already had it down...- I think my officer counterparts expected me to help out more in this capacity, but I did not deliver for them. Not that I was doing nothing during this time- I did details, and other grunt work- which my enlisted counterparts enjoyed- but I guess I just needed a better balance. 2) Be more talkative with everyone- I do tend to be more quiet than others would prefer, but did not realize how big of an issue this oculd be in Ranger School. 3) Do not display any weakness- a given right? physical or mental

I am still trying to sort alot of this out in my head, haven't answered all the questions yet. Sadly- I will be going back again sometime- on my own will.... I so want to end this long saga....